The age thing

As a quirky girl, I've had the tendency to date young. And recently, due to some repeat issues, I've decided it has to stop. (Reader warning: Broad generalizations ahead.)

Some fine examples of younger man behavior:
The walk-out. Younger guys are passionate, sure, great, horray. This translates into passionate fights as well. One guy stormed out of dinner, leaving me with the check and a two-year old date I had to go outside and console. I still have nooo idea what I said. In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything.

The job. Really? You want to talk about your job as a photographer at a tourist spot like it's a career again? We've had this same isn't-it-funny-how-old-ladies-love-group-pictures talk 15 times. Pleeaaase admit it's a job you could have had at 6 Flags when you were 16. In fact, I did have that job. JOB.

The awkward and the overconfident. It's a great divide. Younger men tend to have either zero confidence or a vast, neverending, overwhelming amount. Either way, it's a real turnoff.

There's also an amazing level of introspection and self-absortion. (Says the girl with a blog.) I guess it seems like most dudes in their mid-twenties just don't know who they are or what they want to be doing yet. This usually translates to them not knowing what they want out of a relationship as well. Which is just painful for everyone. I've heard the general rule for how young you should go is half your age plus 7 years (so if you're 28, you can date someone who's 21), but personally, I think I have to go half plus 13. The math-free (and preferable option) is to just date someone my same age or older.

Of course, there are perils to dating older as well - Dad Pants!

First date suggestions

Everyone occasionally needs some ideas for a first date bar or restaurant.. here's what I have for you:

I like going to Spice near Union Square - it has yummy Thai food at decent prices with a mod furniture hip thing going on. And there's plenty of bars in the East Village to stroll to afterward. In Wburg, San Loco is perfect because it has pool and margaritas - both equally good ways to loosen up. The lighting is not exactly on a romantic dimmer though, so watch out. Also watch out for the margaritas... aka crackaritas.

I have a friend that loves going to Belmont Lounge on E.15th between Irving Place and Park Ave. She says it's a classy way to start - good food and drinks, dim lighting, cozy furniture, and the waitresses don't hover over you. And if all goes well, you can hit 119 next door, a bar dark enough for a slightly less classy late night makeout.

But honestly, I've found that nothing beats going to a rooftop if you're hoping for a post-date kissing session. The more romantic the view, the better. Something to seriously keep in mind if you're single and looking for a new apartment...

Extreme PDA

The thing about dating in the city is you can't have a private end-of-date goodbye. It's much unlike the days when you'd pull up outside your house or apartment and share a moment just between you, the dude, and car's arm rest. Now it's all out in the open, on public property, with security cameras, and most of all, pedestrians. Anyone can walk right up and gander at your goodnight makeout. PDA is extreme just in the sheer volume of people passing by. And I think this actually leads to more action, aka more why don't you come to my place, because where else are you going to go? Are we really going to keep making out right here? It's 12 degrees, a homeless guy just asked us for money and I can smell the trash on the street from the sushi place next door. Yes, for the love of pete, let's go to your place.

Mom was right about the Internets

Recently informed mom that I'm online dating and she expressed concern. For good reason. I recently got this message from some guy I've never ever talked to before:

"If I told you you had a nice body would you take off your pants and dance around a little?"


And the photo of the sender looked like a child molester from the 70's. Shudder. Horror. Fear. Disgust. Browser window close close close.

Thank you Internet, for this date

I've tried internet dating and overall, the experience hasn't been that satisfying. Sure, I met adventure guy there but that's really about it... basically, the only thing I can expect to get out of it is a good story. One of my favorites:

Random-man and I decide to meet at a bar for a drink. Upon arrival, it is clear this drink is not his first one tonight. Nor possibly his fifth. It soon comes out that he has just come from dinner with his ex-girlfriend - but according to him, it's cool, they're cool, and I too am cool. What is not cool, says random-man-with-vodka-breath is the way relationships work these days. I mean sure, he says, "I could take you home and f*$% you right now, but that's not what this should be about."

Super special note: He could not have taken me home and f*$%ed me.

At this point, his volume has gotten higher, his hand has landed on my leg thrice and I can't fit a word into his diatribe about life, love and occasionally, tapas.

So I moved my leg out of reach and stayed long enough to finish my beer, be invited over 4 more times (after all, I live in his neighborhood... lucky) and hear even more about the ex in tones fit for a pub during the World Cup. Not cool, random-man-with-vodka-breath-and-loud-potty-mouth-of-bitterness. Finally, here's a haiku I wrote about the experience:


I Smell Vodka/Stop Yelling

You're over your ex
So that's why you drank with her
Right before our date...

Errands with Adventure Guy

Thank you very much
I had a great time getting
Malaria pills.

The Adventure Date

It's unusual
To enjoy cutting your foot
On rusty metal.