Recently informed mom that I'm online dating and she expressed concern. For good reason. I recently got this message from some guy I've never ever talked to before:
"If I told you you had a nice body would you take off your pants and dance around a little?"
And the photo of the sender looked like a child molester from the 70's. Shudder. Horror. Fear. Disgust. Browser window close close close.
3.04.2008
Thank you Internet, for this date
I've tried internet dating and overall, the experience hasn't been that satisfying. Sure, I met adventure guy there but that's really about it... basically, the only thing I can expect to get out of it is a good story. One of my favorites:
Random-man and I decide to meet at a bar for a drink. Upon arrival, it is clear this drink is not his first one tonight. Nor possibly his fifth. It soon comes out that he has just come from dinner with his ex-girlfriend - but according to him, it's cool, they're cool, and I too am cool. What is not cool, says random-man-with-vodka-breath is the way relationships work these days. I mean sure, he says, "I could take you home and f*$% you right now, but that's not what this should be about."
Super special note: He could not have taken me home and f*$%ed me.
At this point, his volume has gotten higher, his hand has landed on my leg thrice and I can't fit a word into his diatribe about life, love and occasionally, tapas.
So I moved my leg out of reach and stayed long enough to finish my beer, be invited over 4 more times (after all, I live in his neighborhood... lucky) and hear even more about the ex in tones fit for a pub during the World Cup. Not cool, random-man-with-vodka-breath-and-loud-potty-mouth-of-bitterness. Finally, here's a haiku I wrote about the experience:
I Smell Vodka/Stop Yelling
You're over your ex
So that's why you drank with her
Right before our date...
Random-man and I decide to meet at a bar for a drink. Upon arrival, it is clear this drink is not his first one tonight. Nor possibly his fifth. It soon comes out that he has just come from dinner with his ex-girlfriend - but according to him, it's cool, they're cool, and I too am cool. What is not cool, says random-man-with-vodka-breath is the way relationships work these days. I mean sure, he says, "I could take you home and f*$% you right now, but that's not what this should be about."
Super special note: He could not have taken me home and f*$%ed me.
At this point, his volume has gotten higher, his hand has landed on my leg thrice and I can't fit a word into his diatribe about life, love and occasionally, tapas.
So I moved my leg out of reach and stayed long enough to finish my beer, be invited over 4 more times (after all, I live in his neighborhood... lucky) and hear even more about the ex in tones fit for a pub during the World Cup. Not cool, random-man-with-vodka-breath-and-loud-potty-mouth-of-bitterness. Finally, here's a haiku I wrote about the experience:
I Smell Vodka/Stop Yelling
You're over your ex
So that's why you drank with her
Right before our date...
3.03.2008
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